I've always been told that I like to argue. Most of the people that have told me that haven't ever cared to actually understand me. With most of their comments they have communicated to me that I'm frustrating and that I'm a problem. Once some one told me "You know what your problem is Daniel?" At this point we had been discussing predestination and I was exploring calvinism and arminianism so I wasn't really sure how my problems related. I think it was rhetorical any way so I waited for the finish of this unexpected interruption to the conversation. "You never pick a side. You always just want to argue." I can't remember what my response was but I think it was something like, "oh". I was hurt. But it was at this point I realized what they had been saying to me all this time. Which lead me to explore my own communication and what was I trying to tell people about myself.
I bring this up because after my last few post I realized that people were listening. Which is great! but I don't want people thinking that I am solely set out on arguing with every idea. I want to explore every idea and some time that means poking holes in ideas and questioning them. I want to communicate with people so that I can keep my own ideas accountable. It's not about agreeing on everything it's about being able to talk about everything.
I also wanted to say to you all right now as gently as I can that if you ever just wright "You're wrong" I will make you explain yourself but only because I love you and want to make sure you know why I'm wrong. If you don't know why I'm wrong then I will help you come up with an answer. I had a conversation like this out side of the blog where I ended up proving my self wrong with no help from the person I was talking to but it help me understand my own ideas so I was great-full for the one sided conversation either way.
To me ideas are something we must all be questioning/exploring all of the time with each other. Even if we come to the same conclusion every time we talk. Biblically we are commanded to remind each other about the salvation of Jesus which means we must be exploring that idea. Not just knowing it and moving on. Ideas are important and working them out is important as well. I have had a so many bad ideas that when I worked them out with other people turned into great ideas. No one ever agrees with all or any of my ideas but my friends are willing to listen and question with me.
If any of you do know me you know that I do argue. I've realized that when I argue it is to win. I like to win when people look down on me. It's pride that compels me to do it and so I have been repenting of that. It's a work in progress.
And Finely
Communication is something deeper than talking. I feel like sometimes talking is a way of putting distance between my self and the people I'm with. A conversation can lead people away from what might actually be going on around me. "How are you doing?" me:"Good!" with a smile. I can say that any time even when I'm not. Arguing is another way people think they communicate. Communicating to me, however, is something more beautiful than a well structured idea or a flowery conversation, it is the heart of what we all want. Communication to me is uniting with others in a deeper way than we were before we communicated... it's learning about each other and and understanding each other. "Listening" is the fancy word people use I think. Learn, listen and with love it is completed.
Another day, another ramble. Thank you all for listening : )
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